Coming Up Next

True mom confession and brace yourself, I let my child watch T.V. gasp. I do not feel it is turning his brain to mush, he still tries to unscrew every screw he sees with his toy drivers, and I do not feel it is contributing to him being the next uni-bomber either. But how can I say no to a little hobbit that brought me the remote this morning and climbed on my lap and asked for puppies. As a parent who watches all of his programs with him I have a few things to say about them, and Marie has heard the most. He usually only watches on show a day, so we are talking 20 minutes here, but that is enough to seriously wonder:

Clifford the Big Red Dog (a new favorite):
There are no red dogs, where did Emily Elizabeth find him? Love will not make a dog grow to roughly the size of a barge. I'm pretty sure the sheer weight of him would have sunk the ferry that took them to Birdwell island. Exactly where is this island located, we have pants long sleeves and coats on one person and capris and a tank on another. If Clifford really rolled over he would crush and kill Emily Elizabeth.

Bernstein Bears (another new favorite aka "da bear show" use a NY accent):
No matter what the theme song says they are not just like us with fur, I'm pretty sure they would eat us. Everyone else in Bear County has real names like Freddie and Lizzy, why are they Brother, Sister, Mama, Papa, Grams and Gramps? What kind of parent names their child Mama? Where are Mama Bears parents? And I am postive they cannot all fit into a large maple.

Little Einstiens (we almost never watch this it makes me so angry):
This tops my list as second to worst. What a horrible, madening display of parental neglect. We let our small children maybe 4 go off on adventures to other countries,while I think we are tripping on LSD. This can be the only explaination because the children must have also gotten ahold of it and are also tripping. How else do you explain they think they can fly around in a rocket and talk to a sphinx about his puzzle.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (yes I have complaints about my favorite character in the world):
I believe everyone in the clubhouse have some serious slummy tendiencies. They really expect "hands" to do everything for them, make dinner, get drinks and open doors they are standing next to. Reminds me of a program and starts with a w ends with a "fair" and has double hockey sticks in the middle.

Thomas (aka "cho cho show):
Their mouths don't move and their eyes can move in complete circles enough said.

Handy Manny (the worst, yet a favorite for my hobbit):
Can we please address the underlying sexual tension with Kelly and Manny. My god the look of death Carmella, Manny's old school friend, go when she moved to town. Manny almost never pays for stuff with money at Kelly's, he must pay with something people. As a matter of fact noone pays for anything in Sheet Rock hills, which is a very "sterotypical town." The 'gay' guy owns the candy store and plays with children, the man from India, Mr. Singh, is and engineer. The school princpal, Mr. Chung (I'm sure you can guess his nationality) always needs to have the best displays for his school. I could keep going for hours including Mr. Ayala (mexican) he is a jack of all trades. Where is Manny's mother or father?

I leave you, hopefull, with shots of my hobbit melting his brain, but happy.